Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,493

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Just landed via Twitch:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Spotted on Threads:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Going viral on WeChat:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Live now on Facebook:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Spotted on Messenger:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Just landed via Messenger:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Just landed via Telegram:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

0
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.
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Commentary:
Well, they say honesty is the best policy, but it seems like some people might prefer a more lucrative career path! If lying paid as well as a CEO salary, we'd have a whole new generation of billionaires lining up for the job. Just imagine the job interview: "So, what would you say is your greatest strength?" "Oh, definitely my ability to tell a convincing fib!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

26 shares on Threads this month:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

47 shares on Reddit this month:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Wolves should really raise more people.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,676

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Just shared via YouTube:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Trending via Slack:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Going viral on Telegram:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Going viral on Twitch:

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Breaking via Telegram:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

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