Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,649

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Live now on Instagram:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Just landed via Telegram:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

2 weeks ago

Funny quote about persistent thoughts, highlighting humorously imagined marital quirks.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the sound of marital chewing – reaching across state lines and beyond! 🗣️🍽️ It's like a crunchy, munchy symphony that refuses to fade away. 🎵👂Talk about a love/hate relationship with snacks…and spouses! 💔😂

chewing, divorce, hear, humor, i, marriage, moved, sound, states, still, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

93 shares on Reddit this month:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

23 shares on Threads this month:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

26 shares on X this month:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,738

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Breaking via Instagram:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Spotted on Threads:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Just shared via Telegram:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Shared recently on TikTok:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Making waves on X:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Spotted on X:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴