Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?
  • Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.
  • Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.
  • If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.
  • I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.
  • I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.