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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Just shared via WeChat:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Going bananas on Telegram:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Spotted on Slack:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Going bananas on X:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Just landed via Instagram:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Just shared via WeChat:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

1 week ago

Witty quote about confidence and job worth, playful and humorous in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎩✨ "Well, if pulling quarters out of ears isn't a job qualification, then maybe it's time to find a workplace with a better sense of magic and wonder! Who wouldn't want an office where pulling coins out of ears is considered a valuable skill? 🪄💼 #MagicIsTheSkillWeNeed"

confidence, cool, ear, good, humor, interviewer, job, magic, magic trick, quarter, think, trick, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

94 shares on X this month:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

90 shares on Discord this month:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

67 shares on Slack this month:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

47 shares on Reddit this month:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Just landed via Instagram:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Just landed via Discord:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Making waves on Threads:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Just landed via X:

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Just shared via Pinterest:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Spotted on YouTube:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

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