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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,559

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Making waves on Slack:

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Just shared via Messenger:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Just shared via TikTok:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Making waves on X:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

1 week ago

Witty text about miscommunication and yelling, humorous and playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, fantastic idea! Let's turn up the volume on clarity! 🔊🗣️ Just a friendly heads-up – my decibel level may fluctuate depending on your accusations. Consider it a crash course in vocal dynamics! 🤣🎤 #AmplifyTheDifference

accuse, communication, difference, future, hear, humor, irony, me, note, start, yelling

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Reddit this month:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

33 shares on Threads this month:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Time needs a speed limit.

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Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,546

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Trending via Discord:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Just landed via Messenger:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Just shared via X:

Type of person to take the long way home just to listen to more music.

Going bananas on X:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Live now on Threads:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Freshly posted on X:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Making waves on Messenger:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Just shared via Threads:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

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