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Oh, fantastic idea! Let's turn up the volume on clarity! 🔊🗣️ Just a friendly heads-up – my decibel level may fluctuate depending on your accusations. Consider it a crash course in vocal dynamics! 🤣🎤 #AmplifyTheDifference

accuse, communication, difference, future, hear, humor, irony, me, note, start, yelling

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Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

1 month ago
entertainment, fun, humor, media, most, relaxation, social, social media, toilet, Twitter
How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

1 month ago
back, burn, calory, exercise, hear, humor, waiting
Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

1 month ago
breakfast, brunch, combination, dinner, food, humor, lunch, meal, wine, winner
Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

1 month ago
activity, back, family, hungry, kids, life, outdoor, outdoor activity, play, send, six, village, village life
Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

1 month ago
driver, frustration, humor, identity, personality, rage, real, real you, road, road rage, slow, slow driver, stuck
I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

1 month ago
conversation, good, humor, interesting, listener, personality, social, wit

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

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They should invent a rest for the wicked.

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Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

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A collective orgasm would fix the world.

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Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

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American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

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Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Broadcasted on X:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Trending via Reddit:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Spotted on Reddit:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Trending via Threads:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Breaking via Snapchat:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

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Activity Log ✨

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

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If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

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