Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.
  • Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?
  • If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.
  • If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.
  • They expect me to work at work.
  • Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.