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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,712

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Going viral on TikTok:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I was dropped as an adult.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Going viral on Messenger:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Just shared via Discord:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Playful quote about celebrating weekend indulgence with a humorous twist.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, talk about setting the bar high for yourself! 🎉🍔💪 Who knew weight gain could be seen as an accomplishment? Overachieving in all aspects, including the food coma department! 😂👏

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

77 shares on Facebook this month:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

95 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media may have been a mistake.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t read Dostoevsky. You survive him.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Trending via LinkedIn:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Spotted on Snapchat:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Going viral on Twitch:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Spotted on Telegram:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Making waves on Pinterest:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Trending via Twitch:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

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