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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

462 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,731

Funny Quotes Topics

17,753

Funny Quotes Images

15,731

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,735

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Shared recently on Slack:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Spotted on Threads:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Going viral on Reddit:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Spotted on Twitch:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Spotted on Reddit:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Shared recently on Discord:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Trending via Messenger:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.
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Commentary:
Ah, Twitter – the virtual land of fleeting thoughts and endless debates! 🐦 If you've ever delved into the chaotic realm of Twitter threads and hot takes, you'd probably agree that creating Artificial Intelligence is our best shot at restoring some order and sanity in the digital universe! 🤖💬 After all, who knows, maybe AI can teach us a thing or two about concise communication and avoiding unnecessary drama! 😉🌐

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

89 shares on Slack this month:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Love is in the air fryer.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

73 shares on Threads this month:

This Monday could have been an email.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

462 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,731

Funny Quotes Topics

17,753

Funny Quotes Images

15,731

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,720

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Trending via TikTok:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Spotted on Discord:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Making waves on Slack:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Spotted on Instagram:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Making waves on YouTube:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Just shared via Discord:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

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