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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

245 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,514

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,514

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,261

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Making waves on Threads:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Just shared via Instagram:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Just landed via Messenger:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Seen just now on Discord:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Making waves on YouTube:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

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If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.
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Commentary:
Ah, Twitter – the virtual land of fleeting thoughts and endless debates! 🐦 If you've ever delved into the chaotic realm of Twitter threads and hot takes, you'd probably agree that creating Artificial Intelligence is our best shot at restoring some order and sanity in the digital universe! 🤖💬 After all, who knows, maybe AI can teach us a thing or two about concise communication and avoiding unnecessary drama! 😉🌐

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Threads this month:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

48 shares on X this month:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Being awake is the worst.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

245 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,514

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,514

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Just shared via YouTube:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Just landed via Reddit:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Seen just now on Slack:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Going bananas on Telegram:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

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