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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

26 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Shared recently on Threads:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Going viral on Instagram:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Reported on YouTube:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Live now on Discord:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Going viral on Discord:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Jan 24, 2025

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Embark on a family road trip for an exhilarating adventure of scenic views and screen-time defense tactics! 🚗📱👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Sit back, relax, and enjoy the beauty of nature while dodging distracted gazes. It's a game of 'Spot the Scenery!' 🌿📵 #FamilyRoadTripFun"

beautiful, beautiful scenery, family, humor, observation, people, phones, pointing, road, road trip, scenery, travel, trip, vacation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

26 minutes ago

3,465

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Reported on Messenger:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Live now on WeChat:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Just shared via Slack:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Just landed via Twitch:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Spotted on WeChat:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Spotted on WeChat:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

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