Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Surviving without starring in a murder documentary? That's an achievement to celebrate! 🕵️‍♂️🔪💼 Just another reminder that your life is drama-free… well, at least of the crime scene kind! 😅👏"

documentary, humor, life, murder, success, take, win

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98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Trending via WeChat:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Going bananas on X:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Making waves on YouTube:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Going bananas on WeChat:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a retard.

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a retard.

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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