Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.
  • I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.
  • The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.
  • So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.
  • Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.
  • Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.