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Commentary:
"Riding a bike in New York City: Look Ma, no DUI! Riding in Tennessee: Just trying to stay sober…or pretending to be Lance Armstrong! 🚴‍♂️🚓"

bike, care, city, DUI, health, humor, means, new, New York City, riding, Tennessee, york

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

0

2 months ago

career, career choice, choice, comedian, disappointment, humor, i, medical, medical school, meet, parents, person, school, stand-up, stand-up comedian, super
I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

0

2 months ago

Aristotle, believe, fastest, humor, i, kids, laughter, once, parenting, screaming, start, stop
Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

0

2 months ago

advice, before, clean, cleanliness, humor, media, need, personal, personal space, room, selfie, social, social media, space, take
Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

0

2 months ago

better, everything, experience, humor, i, me, memory, nostalgia, past, perspective, tell, truth
The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

0

2 months ago

family, family vacation, home, trip, vacation
The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

0

2 months ago

Batman, crime, day, daytime, give, humor, indifference, shit, superhero, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

36 shares on Discord this month:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

80 shares on Discord this month:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Live now on Facebook:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Making waves on Instagram:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Spotted on Twitch:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Trending via TikTok:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Spotted on TikTok:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Just landed via Slack:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Seen just now on Telegram:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨