Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Just shared via TikTok:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Freshly posted on Threads:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Just shared via Slack:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Live now on Twitch:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

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IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”
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Commentary:
Ah, IKEA, where lovebirds can go from assembling furniture together to dismantling their relationship in the blink of an eye! 🇸🇪💔 Who knew those adorable Swedish meatballs and stylish shelving units could lead to such meltdown drama in the aisles? 😂 Just remember, it's always wise to measure your love compatibility before attempting to put together a Billy bookcase! 🛋️🔧 #IKEArelationshipwoes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have thought one billion times about everything.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,754

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Just shared via Reddit:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Going bananas on Slack:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Shared recently on Slack:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Just landed via TikTok:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Making waves on TikTok:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Going viral on YouTube:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

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