Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I only accept apologies in cash.
  • You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.
  • Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.
  • My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.
  • Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.
  • When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.