Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,278

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Trending via Slack:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Seen just now on Discord:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Seen just now on Slack:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Shared recently on X:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Making waves on TikTok:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Shared recently on Threads:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I have an appointment' excuse strikes again! 💁‍♂️ Who knew appointments were the ultimate productivity repellant? 🤣 Time to sit back, relax, and wait for that elusive appointment to magically make us busy all day! 🕰️✨"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on YouTube this month:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

54 shares on Discord this month:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

92 shares on X this month:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Making waves on Slack:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Making waves on Telegram:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Trending via Twitch:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Making waves on Facebook:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Just landed via TikTok:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Live now on X:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

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