Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

At least life has music.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Jan 11, 2026

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Trending via Reddit:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Shared recently on Telegram:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Going viral on Discord:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Going viral on Messenger:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Just landed via Telegram:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

2 months ago

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I have an appointment' excuse strikes again! 💁‍♂️ Who knew appointments were the ultimate productivity repellant? 🤣 Time to sit back, relax, and wait for that elusive appointment to magically make us busy all day! 🕰️✨"

anything, appointment, busy, day, day off, else, excuse, humor, i, later, management, person, procrastination, rest, time, time management

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

3 months ago

dating, drunk, ever, ex, humor, i, past, reflection, relationship, wonder
I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

5 months ago

care, denial, home, honesty, humor, i, lying, said, standing, stubbornness, window
I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

2 months ago

communication, hear, hope, humor, i, me, relationship, thinking
Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

2 months ago

activity, barbecue, cooking, fun, fun activity, humor, salad, women
I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

2 months ago

blue, creative, creative project, fun, funny idea, garden, Google, Google Maps, home, home improvement, i, idea, improvement, maps, outdoor, outdoor fun, pool, project, spread, tarpaulin, want
I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

2 months ago

best, date, even, friend, high, high school, humor, i, imaginary, imaginary friend, life, loneliness, prom, school, social, social life

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

62 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

92 shares on Slack this month:

I remember sex. That was cool.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,732

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Trending via Messenger:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

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