I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.