Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.
  • Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.
  • The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.
  • The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.
  • A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.
  • When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.