I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

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You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

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Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

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I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

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As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

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After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

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Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

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If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

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Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

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“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

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Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.