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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,377

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Breaking via Telegram:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Trending via Snapchat:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Live now on Discord:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Going viral on Slack:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Trending via X:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The future is buffering.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Hey Alexa… remind me why I walked into this room.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

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Commentary:
Well, if life is a joke, then you must be the headliner of the comedy show! 🎭😂 Just keep laughing your way through the punchlines life throws at you! 🤣 #LivingMyBestJoke

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on YouTube this month:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Trending via Discord:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Broadcasted on X:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Trending via TikTok:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Trending via TikTok:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Spotted on Slack:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Spotted on Threads:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Seen just now on Discord:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

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