I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy. Posted onNov 9, 20232 months ago by slickboy in Funny Quotes FacebookXPinterestRedditLinkedInEmailWhatsAppI’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy. Related Funny Quotes 🤝 When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight. I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds. People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like. Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl. Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.