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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2139 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,301

Funny Quotes Topics

15,031

Funny Quotes Images

12,301

4 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Live now on Facebook:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Trending via Snapchat:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Trending via Messenger:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

6 months ago

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

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Commentary:
🍦🤫 Welcome to the scoop-tastic world of The Inside Scoop – where we dish out frozen secrets and creamy conspiracies! Join our exclusive club for a brain freeze with a side of mystery. Just remember, what happens at The Inside Scoop, stays at The Inside Scoop! 😉🔒 #IceCreamMystery #SecretScoops

activity, club, cream, dessert, humor, ice, ice cream, inside, scoop, secret, secret club, social, social activity, surprise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2139 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,301

Funny Quotes Topics

15,031

Funny Quotes Images

12,301

4 minutes ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Seen just now on Discord:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Spotted on Messenger:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Trending via Slack:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Just landed via X:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

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