Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.
  • I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.
  • Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.
  • You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.
  • Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.
  • Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.