Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Me trying to adult like 🤑: 'I need to save money.' Me also sneaking an extra scoop of ice cream like 🍦: 'You only live once.' The eternal struggle of financial responsibility vs. living your best life! 😂 #AdultingProbs"

balance, dilemma, humor, i, lifestyle, live, money, need, priorities, save, saving, spending

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

0

2 months ago

asshole, attitude, being, comedy, full-time, full-time job, humor, job, personality, sarcasm, seems, workplace
Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

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2 months ago

call, call out, day, everyone, humor, launch, little, next, prank, soft, soft launch, stomach, weird, work
I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

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2 months ago

act, crazy, dating, hate, i, month, months, new, relationship, relationships, start
It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

0

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, cozy, fun, game, games, laundry, remember, reminder, still, washer
If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

0

2 months ago

humor, love, me, partnership, relationship, rivalry, sleeping, wordplay
When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

0

2 months ago

able, aisle, aisles, around, call, confusion, cops, frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, joke, moves, navigation, police, shopping, should, store

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Discord this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Spotted on Messenger:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Just shared via Messenger:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Trending via WeChat:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨