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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,415

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Trending via X:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Live now on Discord:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Spotted on Facebook:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Making waves on X:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Just landed via Snapchat:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Live now on Telegram:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Just shared via Pinterest:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Just landed via Instagram:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

2 months ago

0

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sharks with tooth necklaces? Now that's a fashion statement that'll make you think twice about going for a swim! 🦈💎😬 Just when you thought sharks couldn't get any scarier… they accessorize! Better brush extra well to keep those chompers safe!"

animal, creativity, fear, humor, imagine, necklace, scary, shark, teeth, tooth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

0

2 months ago

activity, affectionate, best, cuddle, done, fun, fun activity, humor, intimacy, lighthearted, ones, relationship, where
Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

0

2 months ago

age, being, club, crazy, creation, frankenstein, humor, me, monster, nightlife, old, only, party, should, victor, Victor Frankenstein, youth
I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

0

2 months ago

abuse, addiction, cherish, humor, i, nurture, substance, wit
Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

0

4 months ago

bug, came, clothing, crazy, humor, i, insect, material, nature, shirt, silk, thanks
Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

0

2 months ago

asked, emotions, even, expression, facial, facial expression, feelings, humor, lot, okay, people, relatable, shout, shout out
My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

0

2 months ago

career, career change, change, Christmas, Christmas song, funny idea, hit, hit song, i, idea, just, learn, music, need, plan, recording, retirement, retirement plan, sing, singing, song

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

89 shares on Facebook this month:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

84 shares on Reddit this month:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

80 shares on Discord this month:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Breaking via Twitch:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

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