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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Talents: eating!

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

People should come with warning labels.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Going viral on Snapchat:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Spotted on Reddit:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Going viral on X:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Shared recently on Slack:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Just shared via TikTok:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Just landed via Twitch:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Spotted on Instagram:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

1 week ago

Funny thought-provoking quote about sharks and teeth jewelry, playful and witty in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sharks with tooth necklaces? Now that's a fashion statement that'll make you think twice about going for a swim! 🦈💎😬 Just when you thought sharks couldn't get any scarier… they accessorize! Better brush extra well to keep those chompers safe!"

animal, creativity, fear, humor, imagine, necklace, scary, shark, teeth, tooth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

22 shares on Slack this month:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

78 shares on Discord this month:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

75 shares on X this month:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,718

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Making waves on Threads:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

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