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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

2 hours ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Telegram:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Seen just now on X:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Just shared via Slack:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Just shared via Discord:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Live now on LinkedIn:

This whole week could have been an email.

Reported on Telegram:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

6 months ago

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal wanderer yearning for comfort of the nest! 🐦🏠 Perhaps in a past life, you were indeed a speedy messenger of old, eagerly seeking the cozy corners of your dovecote. Who knows, maybe even now your thoughts flutter homewards like a pigeon on a mission!"

animals, ever, going, home, humor, i, life, longing, nostalgia, pigeon, previous, previous life, think, travel

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

2 hours ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Going viral on Discord:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Just shared via Slack:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Just shared via Discord:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Spotted on Messenger:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Spotted on Reddit:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Making waves on Facebook:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

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