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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Reported on Reddit:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Making waves on Discord:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Making waves on WeChat:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Trending via Discord:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Going viral on X:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

6 months ago

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤯 "Defending your Ph.D. is like the academic equivalent of a championship fight – except no one warned you that you'd have to battle a committee of professors instead of stepping into a ring! Who knew academia could be so cutthroat? 😂 Just remember, you've got this – stand tall, maintain your sanity, and show 'em who's boss!"

attack, D, defend, end, insane, me, PhD, self-defense, tired, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Breaking via Slack:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Making waves on Discord:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Making waves on Facebook:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Reported on YouTube:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Spotted on Telegram:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Just shared via Messenger:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

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