Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.
  • I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.
  • I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.
  • I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.
  • If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.
  • It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.