Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”