Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Jan 11, 2026

3,522

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Going viral on X:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Just landed via Messenger:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Live now on Twitch:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Shared recently on X:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Making waves on Discord:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

2 months ago

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, if life were a multiple-choice test, we'd definitely be acing the wrong answers section! 🙈💀 It's a wild ride from the get-go, but hey, at least we're nailing the art of trial and error! Better luck next lifetime, right? 😅🌟

birth, born, death, die, everything, humor, irony, life, mistakes, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

2 months ago

best, capitalism, done, food, humor, little, noodles, observation, pasta, perspective, put, thing, window, world
I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

4 weeks ago

90, American, Americans, conversion, day, dramatic, dramatics, found, humor, i, just, kilogram, measurement, pound, weight
Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

2 months ago

adventure, bird, birds, close, cloud, days, drinking, eating, excuse, flew, humor, i, joke, message, rain, skydiving, sorry, stuck, survival, too
I’d rather lose you than the argument.

2 months ago

argument, communication, conflict, humor, ID, lose, love, prioritization, relationship
Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

2 weeks ago

chicken, chicken pox, childhood, disease, even, gap, generation, generation gap, health, humor, infection, kid, kids, pox, STD, straight
Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

2 months ago

activity, along, brisk, fog, humor, mind, nature, shoreline, walk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Threads this month:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

12 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

34 shares on X this month:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,545

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Going viral on X:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Just landed via Discord:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Trending via Messenger:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Trending via TikTok:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Just landed via WeChat:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Broadcasted on Slack:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Just landed via Twitch:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Just landed via Snapchat:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴