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Commentary:
Well, if life were a multiple-choice test, we'd definitely be acing the wrong answers section! 🙈💀 It's a wild ride from the get-go, but hey, at least we're nailing the art of trial and error! Better luck next lifetime, right? 😅🌟

birth, born, death, die, everything, humor, irony, life, mistakes, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

5 months ago

birthday, birthday wish, born, buying, celebration, gift, humor, i, myself, nice, personal, personal treat, self-care, shopping, something, today, treat, wish
My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

1 month ago

anti-theft, car, device, humor, joke, manual, safety, security, vehicle, vehicle security
Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

1 month ago

air, airplane, am, box, craving, flying, giant, i, juice, metal, metal box, question, stay, tomato, tomato juice, weird, weird question, why
I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

1 month ago

humor, i, just, keep, mouth, mystery, personality, shut, unfortunately, wish
It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

3 months ago

energy, exhaustion, humor, inside, much, retail, shopping, Walmart
My last straw is way longer than I thought.

1 month ago

expectation, frustration, humor, last, limit, patience, perspective, straw, surprise, thought

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Spotted on YouTube:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Going bananas on Threads:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Just landed via X:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Just shared via TikTok:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

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It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

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It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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