It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.