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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

43 minutes ago

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Reported on Instagram:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Making waves on Twitch:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Just landed via Telegram:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Spotted on Discord:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Just landed via Discord:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Jan 22, 2025

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

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Commentary:
Well, that's 5 minutes well spent in the grand saga of procrastination! 🕒😅 Here's to hoping the next project doesn't become a 6-month mini-series! 📆🎬 Remember, life's too short to stress about the small stuff… until it becomes a big stuff! 😂✨

humor, i, irony, learn, learning, me, minutes, nothing, procrastination, realization, something, stress, time

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

43 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Just landed via Discord:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Just landed via Reddit:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Going viral on Instagram:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Going viral on Messenger:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

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