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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Going viral on Telegram:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Breaking via Discord:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Seen just now on Threads:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Spotted on Facebook:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Spotted on X:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

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It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.
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Commentary:
Well, that's 5 minutes well spent in the grand saga of procrastination! 🕒😅 Here's to hoping the next project doesn't become a 6-month mini-series! 📆🎬 Remember, life's too short to stress about the small stuff… until it becomes a big stuff! 😂✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

67 shares on Discord this month:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

42 shares on Messenger this month:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

100 shares on Slack this month:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Making waves on Facebook:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Just landed via Instagram:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Just shared via Twitch:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Making waves on TikTok:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Going viral on Reddit:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Spotted on Threads:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

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