Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

This Monday could have been an email.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,932

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Just landed via TikTok:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Just landed via YouTube:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Just landed via Twitch:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Just shared via Facebook:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Just landed via Discord:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

2 months ago

0

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Isn't it just like our brains to do us dirty like that? 🧠🤔 It's like having a personal assistant with selective memory – remembering to remind you that you forgot something, but conveniently leaving out the crucial details! 🤷‍♂️ #BrainFail

brain, brains, cognition, forgetfulness, funny observation, humor, irony, memory, observation, remember, something

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

0

1 month ago

communication, conversation, conversations, even, habit, listening, me, relationship, saying, starting, weird, wife
People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

0

1 month ago

animal, awareness, casual, communication, fact, humor, parrot, people, talk, too
I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

0

3 months ago

am, cake, eat, else, food, hell, humor, i, idiom, misunderstanding, phrase, understand
Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

0

2 months ago

ask, bills, financial, getting, home, introvert, just, me, money, paid, responsibility, self-care, stay, stay in, worth
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

0

2 months ago

activity, fun, games, humor, joke, mouth, opera, shampoo, shower, singing, soap
We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

0

1 month ago

comedy, disorderly, drunk, fun, humor, pairing, relationship, together

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Threads this month:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

80 shares on WeChat this month:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,740

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Live now on Slack:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Just landed via Slack:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Just shared via YouTube:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Seen just now on Slack:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Going viral on Instagram:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Just shared via X:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴