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Commentary:
"Coincidence? I think not! 🛸👽 Good thing the government has Area 51 on speed dial for those extraterrestrial fender benders! 🤣✨ #GovernmentParkingOnly"

access, always, conspiracy, crash, government, humor, military, places, UFO, weird, weirdness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

0

5 months ago

Adam, Adam and Eve, Adam and Steve, AI, boyfriend, dating, eve, gender, humor, i, relationship, steve, technology, USB
I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

0

3 weeks ago

age, asked, beauty, beauty treatment, Botox, cosmetic, cosmetic procedure, doctor, girls, got, humor, i, joke, just, look younger, me, procedure, skincare, treatment, younger, zero
There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

0

1 month ago

advice, convince, game, Game of Thrones, important, listen, persuasion, recommendation, show, someone, thrones, time, TV, TV Show, watch
I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

0

2 months ago

beauty, extra, hair, humor, i, know, pluck, sacrifice, self-care, white
I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

0

5 months ago

character, comic, conflict, humor, i, last, pissed, reading, tell, writer, writing, writing conflict
I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

0

2 months ago

AirPods, dependency, die, frustration, hate, humor, i, irony, life, me, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Threads this month:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

66 shares on Slack this month:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Breaking via WeChat:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Shared recently on Discord:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Just landed via Telegram:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Just landed via Twitch:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Live now on Discord:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Just landed via X:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Just shared via Telegram:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨