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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Elevator music is bad on so many levels.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,755

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Going viral on Messenger:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Going viral on Reddit:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Trending via YouTube:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Just landed via Facebook:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Trending via Reddit:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

3 weeks ago

Funny text about Usher lacking songs for guiding people to their seats.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, we can only speculate that maybe Usher was too busy dancing in the club to consider a career in hospitality seating services 🕺🎤 Maybe his next hit will be a chart-topper on ushering customers to their designated spots! 🪑😂 #SeatMeRight"

entertainment, humor, music, observation, people, seats, songs, Usher, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Twitch this month:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

63 shares on Threads this month:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

62 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Dear music, thanks!

Just shared via Messenger:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Spotted on Telegram:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Making waves on TikTok:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Just shared via X:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Live now on Twitch:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

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