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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Having a job ruined my life.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,932

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Live now on Pinterest:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Trending via TikTok:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Just shared via Facebook:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Broadcasted on X:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Making waves on Discord:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

0
It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, we can only speculate that maybe Usher was too busy dancing in the club to consider a career in hospitality seating services 🕺🎤 Maybe his next hit will be a chart-topper on ushering customers to their designated spots! 🪑😂 #SeatMeRight"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Messenger this month:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

45 shares on Threads this month:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,836

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

The older I get, no.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Going viral on WeChat:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Spotted on Discord:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Live now on YouTube:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Breaking via Pinterest:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Just shared via WeChat:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Breaking via Messenger:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

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