Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, just casually dropping a 'hello' to Santa like it's no big deal, but we all know it's just a clever ploy to get on the nice list 🎅🏼✨ #SantaKnowsBest"

Christmas, communication, expectations, gift, hello, holiday, humor, i, letter, only, relationship, Santa, say, short, something, touch, want, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

0

3 weeks ago

5, after, afterlife, almost, cool, death, died, event, experience, humor, life, life event, near-death, near-death experience, reflection, surprise, times, top
Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

0

2 months ago

communication, hello, humor, leave, message, speak, technology, toaster, voicemail
People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

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2 months ago

drive, humor, i, insane, irony, people, psychology, relationships, say, told
Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

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2 months ago

50s, age, age humor, aging, humor, joke, life, life stage, middle, middle age, new, pain, stage, welcome
“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

0

2 months ago

humor, life, observation, perspective, reality, sarcasm, seen
Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

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4 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, dating, getting, getting the ick, ick, moment, peeve, pet, pet peeve, put, rate, windshield, windshield wiper, wiper

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Slack this month:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

77 shares on X this month:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Going bananas on Instagram:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Going viral on Reddit:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Trending via Threads:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Going viral on Reddit:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Spotted on WeChat:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨