Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.
  • I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.
  • “What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.
  • When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.
  • My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.
  • Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.