Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs to run a marathon when you've survived your mom's never-ending stories? 🏃‍♂️💨 Talk about true endurance training! #MomStoriesForTheWin"

endurance, family, humor, listening, marathon, me, mom, never, perseverance, sarcasm, story, talk, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

0

1 month ago

asked, before, clean, effort, else, family, holiday, house, humor, joke, keep, live, moving, somewhere, Thanksgiving
Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

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2 months ago

angel, call, communication, guardian, guardian angel, humor, relationship, supernatural
Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

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2 months ago

absurdity, bald, being, every, floating, humor, imagine, joke, just, mirror, time, toupée, vampire, walk
Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

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2 months ago

coworkers, distractions, everyone, hate, home, humor, i, message, messaging, remote, remote work, shopping, try, work, work from home
When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

0

2 months ago

center, humor, irony, learn, people, science, self-centered, surprise, universe
(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

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4 months ago

conversation, ever, every, flirting, humor, question, single, thing, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

75 shares on Twitch this month:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

53 shares on X this month:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Not going is the new leaving early.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Going viral on Discord:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Going viral on Facebook:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Live now on Messenger:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Shared recently on TikTok:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Going viral on TikTok:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Shared recently on WeChat:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨