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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Just landed via Threads:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Breaking via YouTube:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Going viral on Telegram:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Just shared via Instagram:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Seen just now on Slack:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Humorous text about cake cravings with playful, witty words about dessert obsession.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Give me cake, or give me a fork! 🍰🍴 Who can resist the sweet temptation of a delicious slice? Indulging in cake is always a piece of cake! 😉"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

80 shares on Discord this month:

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

76 shares on Instagram this month:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

48 shares on Slack this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Just shared via Threads:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Going viral on WeChat:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Just landed via Messenger:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Making waves on Telegram:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

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