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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2310 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,472

Funny Quotes Topics

15,182

Funny Quotes Images

12,472

54 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Spotted on YouTube:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Trending via Threads:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Trending via Pinterest:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Just shared via Threads:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

6 months ago

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Jewelry stores: Where you can conveniently express both your good intentions and your…not-so-subtle intentions 😏💎 #CoveringAllBases"

Fun Fact or Trivia:
Did you know that diamonds are not only a girl's best friend but also a symbol of love and commitment? 💍✨ In ancient India, diamonds were believed to possess mystical powers and were used in battle to protect warriors! ⚔️💎 Whether for romance or friendship, these sparkling gems have always had a special place in hearts and history! ❤️💖

dating, gifts, humor, jewelry, just, laid, nice, relationships, romance, shopping, should, stores, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2310 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,472

Funny Quotes Topics

15,182

Funny Quotes Images

12,472

54 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Just landed via Snapchat:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Breaking via Snapchat:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Breaking via Slack:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Going viral on Messenger:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Making waves on Telegram:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Just landed via Messenger:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

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