Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Drive like no one is watching.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,498

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Going bananas on Reddit:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Just shared via Snapchat:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Just shared via Reddit:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

1 week ago

Humorous quote about jewelry stores offering versatile support in any situation.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Jewelry stores: Where you can conveniently express both your good intentions and your…not-so-subtle intentions 😏💎 #CoveringAllBases"

Fun Fact or Trivia:
Did you know that diamonds are not only a girl's best friend but also a symbol of love and commitment? 💍✨ In ancient India, diamonds were believed to possess mystical powers and were used in battle to protect warriors! ⚔️💎 Whether for romance or friendship, these sparkling gems have always had a special place in hearts and history! ❤️💖

dating, gifts, humor, jewelry, just, laid, nice, relationships, romance, shopping, should, stores, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Facebook this month:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

36 shares on Slack this month:

The peace of not knowing.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

15 shares on Discord this month:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

75 shares on X this month:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

35 shares on Discord this month:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,734

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

How did Satoshi write the code of Bitcoin before Claude?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Broadcasted on Discord:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Trending via Discord:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Making waves on Threads:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴