Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

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God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

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If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

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A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

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Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

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My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

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Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

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Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

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Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

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If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.