Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

4,036

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Going viral on Facebook:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Live now on Threads:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Just landed via Instagram:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Spotted on YouTube:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sometimes your stomach just wants to rev up and join the motorcycle gang outside 🏍️🤣 #VroomVroom"

before, concern, couple, funny moment, humor, just, making, moment, motorcycle, outside, realization, seconds, sounds, spent, stomach

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

0

2 months ago

after, buy, buying, consumerism, financial, financial humor, humor, i, irony, less, money, noticed, something, spending, things, worry, worrying
Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

0

2 months ago

diet, humor, lifestyle, never, pants, tight, tip, too, wear
Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

0

2 months ago

anger, angry, competition, equality, getting, humor, net, obstacle, put, sports, tennis, watching, women
No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

0

3 months ago

am, enough, experience, experiences, God, humor, i, intelligence, learning, learning experience, please, prayer, sarcasm, smart
Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

0

2 months ago

contagious, fart, humor, imagine, joke, just, yawning
Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

0

4 months ago

35, alone, being, business, business day, day, days, energy, humor, introvert, left, recharge, sleep, social, social energy, solitude

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

69 shares on X this month:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

92 shares on Twitch this month:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Live now on Discord:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Just shared via Slack:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Just shared via Reddit:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨