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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Just landed via Twitch:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Going viral on Slack:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Going viral on Discord:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Just landed via Facebook:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about confusing stomach noises with a motorcycle outside.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sometimes your stomach just wants to rev up and join the motorcycle gang outside 🏍️🤣 #VroomVroom"

before, concern, couple, funny moment, humor, just, making, moment, motorcycle, outside, realization, seconds, sounds, spent, stomach

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57 shares on TikTok this month:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need to consult the woods about this.

67 shares on Slack this month:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

37 shares on X this month:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Just shared via Twitch:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Trending via Twitch:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Going viral on Reddit:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Spotted on Reddit:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

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Activity Log ✨

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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