Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like the neighborhood peeping Toms are slacking off these days! Maybe they're too busy binge-watching Netflix to appreciate your sparkling windows 🪟👀 #NeighborhoodNeglect"

bloke, came, country, expectation, funny observation, humor, irony, just, mine, next, observation, real, single, used, wash, window, Windows

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

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2 months ago

breathing, change, couple, everyone, everything, familiarity, humor, humor about love, long-term, loud, love, marriage, oh, relationship, too
Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

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2 months ago

advice, health, i, properly, relationship, request, sleep, walk, walks
I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

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2 months ago

abyss, busy, busy signal, communication, existential, frustration, humor, i, irony, scream, signal, today
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

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2 months ago

body, body image, even, food, humor, i, image, life, own, pants, priorities, relationship, sex
The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

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2 months ago

disaster, great, humor, iceberg, joke, just, lesson, lot, tip, Titanic, trouble, whole, why
This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

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5 months ago

going, hell, humor, invisible, joke, media, only, post, secret, social, social media, spooky

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

95 shares on Threads this month:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

70 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

79 shares on Slack this month:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Trending via Snapchat:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Just landed via Telegram:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Making waves on Slack:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Breaking via TikTok:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Spotted on TikTok:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Spotted on Slack:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Breaking via Slack:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨