Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Kids are like pancakes 🥞 The first one is always a bit strange… It's the trial batch, you know, just trying to figure out the right temperature 😉👶"

always, analogy, bit, breakfast, humor, kids, pancakes, parenting, strange

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

0

2 months ago

blank, hours, humor, i, life, procrastination, reflection, stare, straight, think, time, wall, where, wrong
I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

0

2 months ago

believe, expectation, humor, i, procrastination, ready, self-doubt, time
How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

0

2 months ago

baby, big, big baby, birth, birth rate, everyone, here, humor, irony, low, observation, population, rate
I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

0

2 months ago

dream, humor, i, job, love, paid, relaxation, sleep, wish
On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

0

2 months ago

bikini, body, body image, cake, choice, dilemma, hand, humor, ID, image, indulgence, love, sexy
I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

0

2 months ago

80s, ambition, Congress, hit, humor, i, politics, retirement, run, running, wait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re so productive for your wage.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

45 shares on Discord this month:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Live now on Twitch:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Making waves on Facebook:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Going bananas on Instagram:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Spotted on Discord:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Live now on Instagram:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨