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Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

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Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

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Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

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Of course thereโ€™s birth control for men. Itโ€™s called the way they act.

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Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

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I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

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Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

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Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Commentary:
"Kids are like pancakes ๐Ÿฅž The first one is always a bit strange… It's the trial batch, you know, just trying to figure out the right temperature ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ‘ถ"



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