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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Live now on Reddit:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Going viral on Telegram:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Trending via Discord:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Live now on Snapchat:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Trending via Pinterest:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

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Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.
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Commentary:
🦴💀 Well, having a skeleton in your closet takes on a whole new meaning with this quote! Who knew an actual skeleton could end up being the ultimate conversation starter… posthumously. Maybe it can be your unique way of leaving a lasting impression on future archaeologists! 💁‍♂️ #SkeletonInTheCloset #GraveyardHumor

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Live now on Threads:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Just landed via WeChat:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Just shared via Twitch:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Just landed via Telegram:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Making waves on Slack:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Just shared via Reddit:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

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