Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Making waves on WeChat:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Just landed via Facebook:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Just landed via Reddit:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Spotted on Telegram:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Just landed via YouTube:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Making waves on YouTube:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

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Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.
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Commentary:
🦴💀 Well, having a skeleton in your closet takes on a whole new meaning with this quote! Who knew an actual skeleton could end up being the ultimate conversation starter… posthumously. Maybe it can be your unique way of leaving a lasting impression on future archaeologists! 💁‍♂️ #SkeletonInTheCloset #GraveyardHumor

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a job ruined my life.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,430

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Live now on Discord:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Breaking via Snapchat:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Breaking via Slack:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Going viral on Instagram:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Trending via X:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Just shared via Slack:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

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