Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Trending via X:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Trending via Instagram:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Just shared via X:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Just shared via Telegram:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Trending via Discord:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

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Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs salt when you've got tears to add that extra seasoning? 😂🍽️ Just remember, more tears = more flavor! #LifeHack"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

17 shares on YouTube this month:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

44 shares on Discord this month:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

84 shares on X this month:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Just landed via Slack:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Spotted on TikTok:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

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