Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.