Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

526 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,119

Funny Quotes Topics

17,267

Funny Quotes Images

15,119

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,750

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Spotted on Pinterest:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Going bananas on Threads:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Light travels faster than sound ⚡️… explaining why some folks seem brilliant until they open their mouth! 🤣💡"

bright, faster, hear, humor, intelligence, light, people, perception, sound, speak, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

0

2 months ago

commitment, ex, food, giant, humor, i, issues, jar, joke, Nutella, relationship
If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

0

3 weeks ago

buying, humor, ownership, owning, piracy, pirating, stealing, wordplay
Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

0

2 months ago

amazing, awkward, awkward situation, breaks, employees, fix, humor, introvert, machine, self-checkout, situation, technology, wait
You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

0

4 months ago

activity, blonde, blonde child, child, children, cream, ever, expensive, family, family outing, humor, ice, ice cream parlour, observation, outing, parlour, summer, summer activity, think
The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

0

2 months ago

beaver, Eager, humor, productive, productivity, pun, specy, wordplay
I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, communication, dating, flirt, hope, humor, i, just, romance, say, thing, things, weird, weird thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

96 shares on X this month:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

88 shares on Threads this month:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Going viral on TikTok:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Trending via Facebook:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨