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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Live now on Facebook:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Making waves on Threads:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Just landed via Threads:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Broadcasted on Slack:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

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Commentary:
Limbo: where the lower you go, the higher you soar! 🕺🏽 Who knew failing miserably could be so uplifting? Keep aiming for rock bottom to reach the top – it's a limbo paradox! 🌟

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

28 shares on Discord this month:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

84 shares on Threads this month:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

72 shares on Messenger this month:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Asking the cashier how I’m doing today.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Going viral on Threads:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Trending via WeChat:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Live now on Slack:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Spotted on Reddit:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Breaking via Messenger:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

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