Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.
  • The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.
  • Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.
  • Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.
  • If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.
  • According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.