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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Trending via WeChat:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Making waves on Twitch:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Live now on WeChat:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Breaking via Discord:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Just landed via Reddit:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Spotted on Slack:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Making waves on Facebook:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Trending via Discord:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Witty quote about limbo, humorously highlighting how failing raises the bar.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Limbo: where the lower you go, the higher you soar! 🕺🏽 Who knew failing miserably could be so uplifting? Keep aiming for rock bottom to reach the top – it's a limbo paradox! 🌟

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on X this month:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

73 shares on Telegram this month:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

30 shares on Discord this month:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Live now on Reddit:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Trending via YouTube:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Trending via WeChat:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Trending via Slack:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Spotted on Instagram:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

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