Wordgag

10,000+ Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our epic collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.Mar 30, 2026
Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?Mar 30, 2026
Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”Mar 30, 2026
I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.Mar 30, 2026
Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.Mar 30, 2026
Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.Mar 30, 2026
I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.Mar 30, 2026

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.Mar 30, 2026
Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?Mar 30, 2026
Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”Mar 30, 2026
I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.Mar 30, 2026
Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.Mar 30, 2026

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our epic collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥