Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.
  • This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.
  • I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.
  • Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.
  • Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.
  • Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.