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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2402 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,564

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,564

29 minutes ago

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Spotted on Snapchat:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Making waves on X:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Making waves on WeChat:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Trending via Snapchat:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Just landed via Discord:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Jan 23, 2025

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

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Commentary:
Oh, the power of music to bring joy and confusion simultaneously! 🎶👑 It seems the queen's legacy lives on in the hearts of her forgetful subjects, as they belt out "God save the Quing" in a delightful mix-up of history and enthusiasm. Long live the Quing! 🤣 #RoyalConfusion

crowd, died, forgetting, God, God save the Queen, hear, humor, irony, love, memory, queen, save, singing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2402 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,564

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,564

29 minutes ago

3,464

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Shared recently on Discord:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Just shared via Threads:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Making waves on Facebook:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Making waves on Discord:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Trending via X:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Trending via Twitch:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Just shared via X:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Just shared via Slack:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

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