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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Seen just now on Threads:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Just landed via Discord:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Making waves on Telegram:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Spotted on YouTube:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Trending via Pinterest:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Playful quote imagining hot chocolate prefers a fancy name, with a cozy, humorous vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Maybe hot chocolate is just tired of being seen as the second choice to coffee 😏☕ Give some love to that beautiful chocolate, folks! 🍫💖"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on X this month:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

67 shares on Telegram this month:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

46 shares on Reddit this month:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Situationship where the situation is being madly in love with each other.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Just shared via WeChat:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Going viral on Threads:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Breaking via Discord:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Going bananas on Threads:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

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