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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has copied:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has viewed:

What base is it when he says, β€œI know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has shared:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has viewed:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has viewed:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has shared:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Reddit:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Just shared via Telegram:

Every laptop should have a β€œcat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Just landed via Telegram:

Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

Spotted on X:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Just shared via WeChat:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Broadcasted on Threads:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

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Commentary:
"Maybe hot chocolate is just tired of being seen as the second choice to coffee πŸ˜β˜• Give some love to that beautiful chocolate, folks! πŸ«πŸ’–"

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on X this month:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

68 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

β€œI’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

67 shares on YouTube this month:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say β€œguess where I am”. The library?

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œDoing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has viewed:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has viewed:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has copied:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has viewed:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡· has shared:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has copied:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on Discord:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Shared recently on Threads:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Just landed via WeChat:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Going viral on Telegram:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Just shared via Facebook:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Trending via Messenger:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Aura is the real business card.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

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