Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

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I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

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At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

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I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

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I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

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Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

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I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

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If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

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Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

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I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

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If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”