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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Making waves on Twitch:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Live now on Pinterest:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Seen just now on X:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Seen just now on Slack:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Broadcasted on X:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Breaking via WeChat:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Just landed via Threads:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me, in heaven: 🌥️ 'Excuse me, could you snap a quick pic of me casually perched on that fluffy cloud over there? It's just for my Insta feed, no biggie.' 😇📸 #CloudNineGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Just shared via Discord:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Live now on TikTok:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Making waves on TikTok:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Just shared via Threads:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

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