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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 15, 2026

3,354

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Trending via Discord:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Seen just now on X:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Just landed via WeChat:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Spotted on Threads:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sometimes I struggle to adjust to civilian life after coming home from the movies.

Trending via Snapchat:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Making waves on TikTok:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Going viral on Telegram:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Just landed via Slack:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me, in heaven: 🌥️ 'Excuse me, could you snap a quick pic of me casually perched on that fluffy cloud over there? It's just for my Insta feed, no biggie.' 😇📸 #CloudNineGoals"

activity, cloud, fun, heaven, me, photo, sitting, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

2 months ago

humanity, humor, invention, irony, observation, progress, put, smart, someone, suitcase, technology, wheel
Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

5 months ago

around, baby, breadcrumb, chick, drama, ex, hate, humor, i, love, love triangle, men, relationship, secret, secret baby, side, side chick, still, trauma, triangle, wife
Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

2 months ago

ask, conflict, eavesdropping, fighting, humor, i, knock, know, neighbors, observation, side, speak, wall
Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

2 months ago

boundary, change, changes, growth, hear, humor, life, making, me, personal, personal growth, relationship
It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

2 months ago

anticipation, believe, crazy, election, hard, humor, months, over, politics
You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

2 months ago

am, desperation, fantasy, give, gone, hr, HR manager, humor, i, job, manager, message, messages, money, prince, real, spam, tell, times, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

72 shares on Slack this month:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

68 shares on X this month:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

39 shares on Slack this month:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

68 shares on Discord this month:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 15, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Spotted on Messenger:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Just landed via Reddit:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Spotted on Slack:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Just shared via Messenger:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Spotted on Twitch:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

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