Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Me, in heaven: 🌥️ 'Excuse me, could you snap a quick pic of me casually perched on that fluffy cloud over there? It's just for my Insta feed, no biggie.' 😇📸 #CloudNineGoals"

activity, cloud, fun, heaven, me, photo, sitting, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

2 months ago

am, big, blasting, car, change, hate, humor, i, last, mood, morning, morning routine, music, night, person, personal, personal change, personality, routine, same, turn
How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

2 months ago

back, breathing, confusion, humor, logic, oxygen, right, running, submarine
According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

2 months ago

am, box, cheese, family, food, humor, i, identity, joke, macaroni
Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

6 months ago

email, Friday, Fridays, Monday, problem, procrastination, response, send, time, waiting, work
Unpopular opinion: Landlords should not be able to increase rent unless they’re upgrading the apartment.

1 week ago

able, apartment, housing, increase, landlord, market, opinion, rent, rent increase, rental, rental market, rights, should, tenant, tenant rights, unpopular, unpopular opinion
If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

2 months ago

circle, friend, humor, identity, joke, Matt, social, social circle, white, white friend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

28 shares on Slack this month:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

99 shares on Reddit this month:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

61 shares on Threads this month:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Going viral on Instagram:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Just shared via WeChat:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Unpopular opinion: Landlords should not be able to increase rent unless they’re upgrading the apartment.

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨