Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.
  • The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.
  • Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.
  • Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”
  • My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.
  • Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.